Part II

Too bad I don't have a picture to post, because I'm sure it was a sight to behold, me with 28 wires glued to my head.  They thought it was cute enough with Rich to take a picture, but I guess there's nothing too cute about a 50 year old in a snarky mood with wires glued on. 

So, on test day I went downtown to St. Lukes and checked in.  There is some sort of privacy law that you are supposed to sign something for. 

She said, "Here, sign this form and if you want to know more about it, you can read these three brochures." 

I said, "What is the privacy law?  That you have to keep my information private?"  Can you give me the summary version?

"Well it's more complicated than that - just sign it." 

"I don't feel like I have time to read the brochures right now and would sure like a basic understanding of what I am signing." 

It was then that I realized that she wasn't giving me the summary version because she didn't know it.  I was super un-impressed.  I signed it.

Once I got back to the EEG area, a person came out that I thought must be an aide or tech.  She was quite a bit older than me (or looked it) and had hair standing on end.  It finally became clear to me that she was the one administering the test.  Scarey.  Wierd kind of scarey.  She started gluing the nodes in and asking me very private questions in front of my friend, Sandy who had volunteered to keep me company for the day.  When it was time to go back, she had invited Sandy to come along.  I'm thinking I should have read those brochures because nothing about this seemed private. 

Once everything was on, she said, "I'm going to turn off the lights, so just sit back and relax."  She went out of the room.  That was when a bright  light was put an inch from my nose and began flashing like a strobe light.  This went on for about five minutes.  Relax?  Right.  Next, she told me to relax again and start blowing, like I am blowing out birthday candles.  I know what this was for and I wasn't about to have another siezure.  About the time that my hands were getting numb, I kept telling myself, "You will NOT have a siezure", over and over again.  Finally, we were done and she pulled the nodes off of my head with a good portion of my hair attached to each one.  She then announce that she was needed somewhere else and would give my glue spots a surface wash.  By now my hair was a mixture of dry, straight, wet, gluey.  The glue parts were like super-duper gel. 

The worst part?  I had a 3 hour wait until the next test!  And this is after they tell you to take off all your clothes and put on these ginormous scrubs.  Then they say, "feel free to run and get some lunch.  It's going to be a while."  So out of extreme hunger, we finally went and grabbed something to eat, me with my head down hoping that I would see no one I knew.  (I did, but I think I evaded them successfully.)

Then back to the MRI waiting room.  Here, people waiting for the tests and their family and friends gather.  I'm sorry, but I have a problem hanging around naked in scrubs with just anyone, particularly men.  It is wrong.  Finally, my name was called and the test was fast and comfortable.  And, when I left, she gave me a gift card to a restaurant.  "Wow", I thought.  "EEG lady could learn a lot from her".

The tests turned out fine and show a healthy brain, proof that it is really there.  I guess 6 or 7 hours of one's life is just a little to pay to get reassurance.  I hope I never have to get another EEG again.  Never.